Sorry blog for neglecting you.

^ Yoshi.
Wow, i haven't blogged in like half a year, hahah, so much for me making it a daily thing aye.. i may try to make an effort to blog more i think, not daily.. maybe weekly/ monthly, just a lot more than i have been, because, well i find it really awesome for getting stuff off my chest. Even if i do have only one follower. i don't care if noone reads my blogs, it's just a way to vent i guess. :) Where to start..

Well, i've got myself a Kitten recently.. hehe, and named him Yoshi ^_^ he's such a cute tabby cat, and he likes to play, and he's crazy really loll :P just a minute ago he broke my earphones by biting them ¬¬ he can be silly sometimes, and a little overwhelming in the house, but he's lovely :3

I've had another FAIL of a relationship.. haha. my life story. His name was Danny.. i wouldn't really say it was a fail, because the relationship itself was amazing. really. and i let him meet my family etc, and i met his, you know, it was all proper and everything XD He lived a fair distance away, but he always made an effort, and drove, so it was easy to see each other. The relationship was perfect, if im honest, apart from one thing. He had a strange living arrangement. he lived with his family and all that, but his "Ex girlfriend" also shared his home. I mean, that's fair enough, i did think it was a little weird, but i knew what i was getting myself into before we even got toghether :) but that really got to me, throughout the relationship, and my paranoia was too much, and you know, i felt it wasn't right. there was also the fact that i believe that i am actually still inlove with Jam(ie) ..my boyfriend from last November. :|

...yeahhhh, haha. it's strange, because, i dont know if it was/is "love" but the fact that after all this time, i still think about him, dream about him, and wish he was mine :/ ...the fact that every boyfriend i have hasn't been able to make me feel as happy as he did when i was with him. and the great thing is, that i know he doesn't feel the same :/ and it really gets to me, you know. i've actually cried myself to sleep and all that lol >_< i just replay memories and everything that we had and it makes me feel sad instantly. grrr. I even hung out with him recently, with a few other people. and it was like nothing happpened, none of us had changed, and we got along as well as we did when we were going out. it felt strange, and i think it made me feel a lot worse about the situation. I wish i wasn't so silly. :|

something that has also been bothering me recently, is i seem to have a few admirers. and when i say a few, i mean A FEW! XD it seems, nowadays i cant have any male friends, because they just end up liking me at some point or another, and i end up hurting them ;/ its really annoying. ): atm, i can count 6 people, who have, in the last two weeks, confessed to liking me. and wtf do i do. lool.

apart from all that, there's also other complications, i'm having trouble with finding out who my REAL friends are, and others who have just completely screwed me over :| this whole year has just been real shit really :/ nothing special at all. And damn do i hope it turns around soon.

oh dear ):

OHMY, i havent wrote a blog in like 3 months D: ahahaha.
so much has changed! well not that much but to me it has :)
for a start, during the end of the summer i started hanging out with the lovely mr jam, and since then we were texting non stop and just it was ahmazeing :) then then one day after hanging out he asked me out, i was sitting on the bus and wow did it make me happy :D ... ermmm so yeahh i lvoee him hes amazeing, and its been a monthish already o: <3

also, my lifes been getting on track. i have joined the Miskin theatre, and met sooo many cool people within just a few weeks :) i feel like my career is finally paveing out, and my future is certainly looking brighter. i cant wait for us to perform our first show and the whole 3 years im going to spend there im sure will be amazing :D
thats all for now <33

Summer Lovingggg

Heeyyy, and im backk, i know its taken me ages to write a new blog Lool >_< i never find time or get a chance to go onto the computer D: ...But this blogs a lot LOT happier :D happy feelings in thee air today and everythings finally looking up for summer 2010. :D Im still feeling a little tired and ughhh from last nights Mini rave party thing XDD it was Rich, me, Sophia, and richs friend callum, all getting wastedd COMPLETELY :D ahahah we had like looooadsa alcohol so you can imagine we were SMASSSHEDDD :D Watching The TELESHOPPING channel at eaarly hours of the morning , and theyre were some sexual stuff on there :L papahahaha , In Our words "WE BE JAMMIIIINN'" ahahhahahah! :D looool .. so yeahhh Last night was actually amazing :3 and was sooo many laughs tbh :) .. Amazing people and it was nicee, Because although i didnt sleep AT ALL D; i got the chance to lay next to rich all night :3 i tried snuggling up to him but not to obvs cause i was a bit shy ahaha xD and he held my hand and stuffffff!! i was like O: omg hehhe yaay :DD and my heart was like BOOOOOOOM loool. i know im soo ghey D: but hey FU tis my blog so if you dont like it GTFO ;D nuu im joking stay (: ahah xD .. so yeahhhh but that was thee end of that , me and sophia both went homee, etcc, and on the tube and train home all i could think about was "shall i tell him i like him? if i do will he reject me ? i dont even know if hes intrested in me?" :/ so yeahh on the train i looked like a right emo Loool xD ...but anyway so i got home FINALLY, and as like YAAAAY i can shower cause i obvs smelt ;P and i looked like Poooo >< so i was glad to be home :) then i was just like you know whatttt imma tell hi mand i dc cause ive kept this in so so long xD and it turned out all amazingly xD he admitted to likeing me also :P but he was just shy to tell me >.< and i was all beautiful likee. xDD And thats basically it. Lool me and Rich are now going out :D so yaaaaaysss for that :D and ive just been like :D all day (: i just wish that he wouldnt put himself down because hes amazing. but he doesnt belive it ): and thats not gooooood D: But yeahhh , So nowww thats sorted :3 i just hope hes happey ^_^ Because tbh aslong as his happy i will be too :) and ive been waiting for this .. Us to happy for ages ): .. But now im just hoping im not putting my heart on the line because the last tiem, i was truely destroyed and that has influences so much of what i do today ): Butt yeahh SUMMER 2010 Youre looking pretty beautiful to me already :D

i miss you.

Photo; 2010. Summer. 'The Clean Up Club'
Summer 2009. Was probly the best time of my life so far. I made so many friends. Had so many laughs, and it was perfect. :) i Miss you Guys, and we need to do something like this again.. VERY SOON.

I Need a Hero, To Save me now. ♥

This SONG. Hero - by Skillet, Ive Listened to NONstop for like a week naow. ahaha xD i lovelovelove ittt :)!
Kayssss, To thee point XD .. aha you will see , the more you read my blog that i dooo go of topic a bit so just ermm, Bare with me :D. also :D thanks to my friend Naomi for showing me this site :3
Long story short; My names Carla. Carla Croft :') . Errmmm, this blog im going to use to tell you all about my life, and the days i have , soooo ill try not to bore you too much i guess :P even though, Most of my days arent that close to ordinary. pahaha. Soooo, as you can see, i tried to make my blog pretty ;P .. hehe and today ive decided to begin so here goes.
Today; 16th June. 2010.
I had no college today :) Weds and thurdays are my days off, and tbh i LOVE them :D .. i often sleep in till like 3 LOL. like today :/ but i feel sooo lazeh after ;L ..
Lately ive been feeling pretty lonely. My ex bf was way back in march and now im starting to miss having someone there who loves me and i could love back :/ ... i know theres more important things than relationships atm. But tbh. i feel i need someone with me to be able to get along normally. Its jsut thee like, warmth and stuff i guess. but meh ): ... also, im kinda a bit mehh D:; cause i always seem to like people i cant have ;/ but thats enough of that :D at this moment in timeee im watching tele, and drinking tea. and exproessing all these things ive had closed up for soo long ;/.. Now im listening to sum41 - with me ... ahhhh D; i love this song :') but its so sad ): hehe. ermmm yeahh this is my first blog and its all depressing but gabgjkaj cant think of anything else to say atm tbh Lool. soooo Search for a companion begins. A Bf or a Gf will do nicely i just have so much love to give :3 and i just know there is someone out there who will appreciate it. and convince me that not everyone is the same. So For naow, its Peace outttt ^_^'